Tales From Burkeland: Tale 9
I had a nasty habit of lying to myself.
Could I write a short story for that submission call and progress on my novels? Absolutely, I said.
Sure, I could take on leadership in my writing guild and have time for all the classes and projects on my list for the year.
No. The correct answer was no. Not if I wanted to show up at full capacity, do my best work, and stay on track with my main goals. It took some brutal self-honesty to get that into my stubborn head.
It’s not a pattern exclusive to my creative pursuits. Since middle school, I’d made a habit of overextending myself and ignoring my body and mind yelling to slow down. Eventually, my energy reserves would hit a draught. I’d wait in frustration for my energy to refill, open the floodgates, and go until I’d spent every drop again.
In mid-2024, my creativity—and energy in general—dried up completely. I’d just submitted “Rise of the Witches” to Flame Tree Publishing for Circe after a two-week sprint to develop and write the story. Meanwhile, life outside of writing would not let up. Still, I did what I’d always done and jumped right to the next project. I thought it would be my first entry to Writers of the Future. It was only July, and I already had an outline. It would be no problem to draft and edit the story for the September deadline. Yet no matter how long I stared at my computer, I could not put words on the page. I couldn’t even grind it out. I went on like that for a couple weeks, becoming more afraid and frustrated with each passing day. This had never happened before. Finally, I talked to my therapist. She gave my experience a name: burnout.
“No,” I told her. “I don’t burn out. I’ve always worked this way.”
Over the next hour, she led me to some brutal self-honesty where I realized I’d built my life around pushing myself into burnout and calling it ambition. Now, I was trying to do the same with my author career, and my creative subconscious was screaming, “No!” To reach my long-term goal of a sustainable and enjoyable writing career, I had to break that old habit. She challenged me to a month without writing. I glared at her, but I agreed. Instead of making the Writers of the Future deadline, I began the long process of unlearning the thought patterns and behaviors that had me avoiding rest like it was a polluted lake.
Here’s how I did it:
Learn your limits and your mind’s and body’s clues about them.
Respect your limits.
Prioritize. Say no to anything that prevents you from showing up at your best for your priorities.
Build a support system. You’re going to feel lazy and like you aren’t doing enough. You need people you trust to help you realize those are lies.
Be totally honest about the bad and the good. Do not forget the good.
It was a lot of trial and error. I knew the cues about my limits. Afterall, I’d been ignoring them for years. Respecting them proved difficult, especially when the guilt about saying no and the fear of failing at my dreams showed up. Thankfully, my support system showed up, too, and they were stronger.
As 2025 neared, I decided to set a scary goal: No burnout for the year.
So far, so good.
Truthfully, I’m surprised I made it to September without burnout. But I’m taking it as an opportunity for some positive self-honesty. I am building new habits around rest and saying no. And I can achieve my creative goals, even if it means passing on some opportunities. Doing just that has actually improved progress on The Heirs Saga and entering Writers of the Future—my main priorities for my author career.
As I look ahead, it feels like a new, more authentic start, both in my author career and in every aspect of my life.
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What you missed in this month’s newsletter:
From the Drafts — We Have A Skeleton Plot! An Heirs Saga Update
Remember You Shine — Glimmers: Micro-moments of Joy and Peace
Myths and Magic — A Jaguar Ate the Moon and Other Eclipse Myths
From My Shelf — The Dragon’s Heart series by M.A. Frick